Here’s something to tide you guys over and introduce you to how it’s gonna work out while I get the first show written kthxbai
CGS: The Failed Opening
The feed opens up at Jimmy DeMarco and Steve Storme standing in the center of the ring, both with a mic in their hand. Both look really happy, especially with that shit-eating grin spread across DeMarco’s face. Probably because he’ll actually get paid today, lucky bastard. The crowd is sitting, anticipating a rip-roaring speech that would blow their minds, both figuratively and literally.
Jimmy DeMarco
“You know, I should be grateful for all of this. Resurgence in success, a brand new era for CGS! After years of struggle, we’ve finally trumped those rats at OWW and put them all out of a job, fucking up the US economy even more! We’re even more edgy than ever before! Even though many fans and wrestlers have come and gone, we still prevailed. We’re the top dog in American wrestling right now!"
Some fans, who look to be morbidly overweight and bespectacled, start chanting, “ROG, ROG, ROG!” to irritate DeMarco, and Storme rolls his eyes.
Jimmy DeMarco
“Ring of Glory is dead! Thanks to Mattster deciding that living in a Mormon camp was better for his connection with God or something.”
Steve Storme
“He also got hit in the head with a baseball.”
The nerds still keep on chanting, and DeMarco scowls at their, quite frankly, disrespectful attitudes. Storme nods his head over to the side, like he was calling someone or something over.
Jay Rodriguez
“ROG was the best part of my career. I got paid a lot for it, and got to call some entertaining matches. Oh, I miss it already.”
Leroy Brown
“Bullshit. You were too busy ogling the ladies to even take note of such classics like Mattster vs. Lojax!”
Jay Rodriguez
“How hypocritical of you, since that tape with you and Ang-“
Leroy Brown
“MATTSTER VS. LOJAX BAHGAWD MATTSTER VS. LOJAX BAHGAWD!”
Finally, Storme gets sick of the shit and puts his mic to his mouth, ready to rip into the crowd.
Steve Storme
“Would you all just shut up!? You have one of, if not the, greatest federation in North America today, with the stunning, sexy Steve Storme leading it, and you just want some deadbeat, half-assed organization to come back? I guess we weren’t good enough for you, weren’t we? Nothing beats Mattster vs. Lojax after all, or Rated PG vs. Jose in a buttfuck competition!”
Nerds
“That’s right!”
Storme and DeMarco’s jaws drop, but they manage to recollect themselves.
Jimmy DeMarco
“See? That’s why we need CGS. And before you get evicted from the building, remember this: this is CGS, as you’ve never seen it before!”
He lifts his and Steve’s arm in celebration, and Storme smiles over to DeMarco, whose aforementioned shit-eating grin has widened to massive proportions. However, Storme’s smile turns into a smirk, as he raises his mic-holding hand up. He then looks over to the audience and shrugs.
Steve Storme
“You seriously thought me and ol’ Jimmy would be friends?”
WHAM! A Rawrstorme right to the jaw! DeMarco flies over to the ropes, and Storme quickly reacts, smashing the blunt end of the mic into DeMarco’s mouth. He goes down bleeding rather heavily from the mouth, and Storme grins widely.
Steve Storme
“I’m the Storme baby, and this is CGS!”
At that, a major explosion hits the entrance ramp, and ‘Conora’ by Minutemen play as the fans (except the ROG nerds) burst into tremendous applause. From the crowd come TNALDF and Manu Soldier, who take hold of the ROG nerds (rather slowly) and pulverize them. Manu throws them over the barricade and proceeds to maul them further, and while the fat nerds squeal for mercy, Manu keeps on throwing punches and stomps, roaring out how he is the Justice Soldier. Just as he’s about to start committing murder, security come in and start tazing him, yet he acts like nothing happened, continuing to attack.
TNALDF, meanwhile, looks over and sees STING running down the crowd, and his eyes go wide and shiny with awe. He then drops down and starts praying, shouting, “God Bless You STING!” at the top of his lungs.
STING, however, leaps over the barricade and splashes one of the nerds, knocking him out. TNALDF is still praying, tears streaming down his cheeks.
From under the ring, Storme’s favorite stalker and hater Sean Seteree pops out with a crowbar, and he quickly jumps to the apron and rolls under the ropes, right behind Storme. Storme is still in the ring, and it looks like he would be taken out by Seteree, but Seteree does the dumbest thing he could do. He screams out, “FUCK YOU FOR STEALING MY WIFE STORME!” which earns him a Rawrstorme from nowhere. Seteree goes down and drops his crowbar.
However, Contemp and The Network (Jose, Bangsurluna and Cody Sexthy) run down the ramp, well, strutting down in Cody’s case. Contemp is holding a belt, and the four are halfway down the ramp when Black Dagger pops out of nowhere and spears Bangs and Cody down together. Bangs and Cody flip over into the crowd, and Daddy Mayhem’s fat ass runs down to join up with his protégé.
Contemp and Jose get in the ring, and Contemp attacks with his belt, hitting Storme in the chin. Jose then jumps up and utilizes a 400 Splash on Storme, causing Storme to cough up. The crowd boos as ol’ Shocky takes out a Bible and begins to shout out random quotes.
Contemp/Shocky
“This is why you should never be a homo! It’s not right, it ruins the credit of marriage!”
That’s when the James Bond theme hits (Corona is still playing though) hits. The attention goes to the rafters, and a shadow appears and grabs hold of a wire. A man wearing a business suit, identified as Marco Malone, zips down the line down to the right, only for Jose to jump up and wheel kick him right in the face, causing him to fall down and crash right onto the canvas unconscious, in an epic fail moment.
However, that distraction was enough for Team Angel to come down, shaking their hips like the dumb sluts they were. Contemp’s face crunches up in rage and slander, Black Dagger’s hungry eyes spots them, he runs over and gears up for a spear. But Angel throws Roxxi in the way and so Dagger spears Roxxi through the titantron, setting off sparks everywhere. However, Dagger was also stunned by the impact, so Daddy Mayhem started to weep and moan in a really gay voice.
Angel laughs like a horny slut over her ‘intelligent’ plan, but she is soon jumped on by two familiar men, a young black kid and a white man pushing his 40’s. It was the Bonafide Bitch Slappers! The two pull their arms back and slam their fists into Angel’s face with a Smacked Up, and the two keep on stomping her.
Medics then start to pour in from the ramp, and nobody pays any attention. Except the BBS when they discover that there were nurses among the medical staff. They pay no attention at first, but when the nurses approach the wounded Team Angel, the BBS quickly leap at the nurses and start smacking them everywhere, soon ranking up quite a few bitch slaps.
Meanwhile, Storme was struggling with Contemp and Jose. While dealing with Shocky’s bitch ass was easy enough, Jose’s skills was enough to really give Storme a go. A few times when Contemp was ‘taking a breather’ (read: trying to whip kids with his belt to make himself feel better) Storme and Jose works something that looked like a genuine wrestling match. However, Storme manages to reverse a Sunset Flip Powerbomb into a rather brutal Spinebuster, and looks to end it when Contemp comes out with a steel chair. He hits Storme across the head with it, causing him to go down, and Contemp smirks like he did all the work.
Then a football comes out from the crowd and hits Jose square in the face, knocking him out. Contemp’s eyes went wide and he looks like he just shat himself, aided by Storme grimacing at a sudden new smell. David Beckham was at town! He enters the ring with his token slut Posh, and smiled at Contemp, who was shaking with rage. Said fat Christian tries to punch Becks in the face, but Becks then kicks Contemp in the gut and hits a Swinging Neckbreaker.
Then Horsemen and Eric Poi runs out, only for Poi to stop when he sees a young girl in the crowd. Horsemen takes his arm and tries to drag him off, despite Poi’s resilience. The Bad Touch slide into the ring and go berserk on Contemp and Becks, and by berserk I mean putting them into a headlock each, then turning it into an Airplane Spin. When Contemp and Becks seemed out for the count, The Bad Touch were about to hit their finishers when Contemp gains a sudden second wind, and uses it to bolt out of the ring. So the two shrug and get in between Becks, sandwiching him with a Double Bearhug, which looks just as gay as you’d imagine it to be.
With all his resources gone, Contemp smirks, knowing he can fight another day. He turns around to go up the entrance ramp, when a booted foot strikes him right in the jaw, knocking him out. RAWRSTORME!
Steve Storme walks in front of the camera recording Contemp’s limp form, and smirks. The camera then scrolls over the entire arena, noting the destruction having taken place. Manu was still trying to kill the ROG nerds, and was still no-selling the tazers, to the point where they had to give him a near-lethal dose. The BBS was standing on a mountain of brutalized women, from Team Angel to nurses to crowd members, Dagger was still stuck on the damaged and cracked titantron, TNALDF was continuing to worship STING, who looks bewildered, and The Bad Touch was scouting for younger girls.
Steve Storme
“What did you expect? ‘Family fun’ my ass.”
He then walks off as the camera shuts down. As a result of the failed opening, Burger King threatened to bomb CGS, and they’d have to get their first PPV out soon.
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Subject: CGS: As You've Never Seen It Before 
Thu Nov 25, 2010 5:45 pm
