Tag Team Tournament, Bonafide Bitch Slappers Style

The pyro explodes, and the camera goes to Chris Jericho, who has his back to the crowd. The crowd fill the arena with boos and jeers, and Jericho then spins around and walks down the ramp, wearing a corporate suit and a scowl on his face. He slides into the ring and his theme fades out, the boos the only sound Jericho hears.

Leroy Brown
What a jackass this guy is. I don't need to explain.

Jay Rodriguez
He is a legend. Leroy's just a hater.

Chris Jericho
Hello all of CGS! If you're wondering why I, the great Chris Jericho, am cutting this interview for all you unappreciative jackasses here in CGS, the answer is simple. Why? I and Chris Brown have to win the CGS Tag Team titles, and others who think otherwise are assclowns who sympathize with women and eat trash for a living! Yeah, you heard me, stop doing your trash eating bottom feeding hos and look up to someone like me and Chris Brown, people who know what they're doing!

The crowd boos, and Jericho snarls when he sees a 'Seth Omega' poster being held up by a fan.

Chris Jericho
Man...man oh man oh man. A Seth Omega fan? I know he brags about how every time there's someone wearing my t-shirt, there's a thousand more with his t-shirts, but look at the crowd out here! Only about...two fans that I can see wearing a Seth Omega t-shirt! Oh wait, I'll just use the T-Shirt-o-Matic 2005 to find how much Seth Omega t-shirts have been sold this week! Seth claims to be CGS's biggest star, but lets see how big he really is!

The CGSTron flicks to a blue background, with two graph appearing. One is a dark green bar saying 'Seth Omega Merchandise Sales' and the other is a dark blue bar saying 'Chris Jericho Merchandise Sales'. The bars go up and up and up, only for Omega's bar to stop at 2000. Jericho's soars right up to the top, to 'King of the World'. Jericho smirks upon seeing this, and looks back to the crowd who chant jeers and boos at him.

Leroy Brown
That is obviously fixed.

Jay Rodriguez
Jealous, much?

Chris Jericho
I know you guys think that "Oh no this is fixed, Seth Omega sells a lot more then Chris Jericho does" but my graph right there proved that! And you can go whine, and complain, and just throw a little temper tantrum like one 'Baby Elephant' would, that's right Seth, I'm referring to you! And your tag team partner, some little, er what the hell, dumbass who follows you around fucking you in the ass. Chris Incision, you come down with your stupid haircut and your stupid smirk and proclaim yourself to be a real man, that we, the Bonafide Bitch Slappers, are nothing but cowards and woman beaters, Incision, we're so much more masculine then you are, hell I question your sexuality. And you think that you'd stop us, the Bonafide Bitch Slappers? You've got another thing coming, Chris Incision.

And the other two tag teams in this tournament. Dash Blade and Black Dagger. Like the great Chris Brown said, Dash Blade is some wannabe gangsta who has a hood on, proclaiming himself to be a 'Legend' but Dash, I've got to get one thing into your trash filled head. I am so much more legendary then you are, and I'm a former World Champion in the WWE. You're just a former World Champion in some random feds who don't mean shit compared to the real federations. And your recent promo just proved to me at least, the idiots that are the majority of fans most likely didn't see, that you're just some punk who got lucky and had a bit of charisma, and ended up winning a few World titles. If I were in his shoes, and not being held back by assholes such as Triple H, yes I mean you Paul, I would have been the greatest World Champion since...who else, me!

Black Dagger, oh man, this guy has to be a Hall of Shamer! The guy had it all, he had the fame, he had the glory, he had the chicks, he even held the CGS World title at one point and was planned to hold the ROG X-Rated Championship! Well that's according to info I got from an Australian teenager who used to work backstage for ROG. But what does he do? He became a trash eating jabroni and lost his touch, well he never really had a touch, because his promos were worse then even Paul's when he's doing inside jokes and he couldn't wrestle at all, I mean look at him! He's just a jacked-up version of your typical big guy, using all these big flashy moves as standard moves. Pretty pathetic, don't you think? The Jerichoholics think so, make yourselves clear Jerichoholics!

Jericho puts the mic to the crowd, only to get defining boos. Jericho shakes his head at the crowd's reaction.

Leroy Brown
Haha, take that Jericho!

Jay Rodriguez
Shut up.

Chris Jericho
You'd think that after I've called out for my fans, they'll be a little more supportive. But it IS CGS, where the fans are all women sympathizers who want to be like the Bonafide Bitch Slappers, but aren't as athletic, handsome, talented, charismatic and overall amazing as us, me and Chris Brown. Before I get carried away, I've got to make a few more comments on a tag team that MIGHT be facing us in the final round, Derrick North and Randy "The Ram" Robinson. Derrick North, he's nothing. He rants about the blizzards and the cold Canadian weather, but he's just a wannabe Raven. I've worked with Raven, Derrick, and he's a great guy, very intelligent. Same can't be said for you, assclown. Oh yes, and the has-been that's trying to get one last shot at the big time. Randy "The Ram" Robinson. He takes offense to us, calling us bitches and cowards for our ways, the guy is a complete, total, nonstop, jackass assclown! I've seen The Wrestler, in fact I'd say it was the worst movie of 2008! You were such a drama queen and an idiot too, you tried to live out the 80s by taking on that guy whose name skips me right now, and you miss out on recoiling with your daughter because you're into the crack doing shit, I'd think better of a role model to children, I really would. And while speaking about role models, why don't kids take me and Chris Brown as role models? We would be the PERFECT role models for boys of all ages, taking on role models like Randy and Blade is the way of a total assclown!

And Randy, why do you act all determined to win when your body can't handle it? I swear that one of those days, hopefully in this week's event, your body breaks down and you get put in hospital so we don't have to watch your pathetic wrestling anymore. The reason CGS originally sunk was because they put too much focus on has-beens like Michael Cash and The Bandit, Randy reminds me of a typical has-been, and I don't like that. I AM the King of the World, and Randy is A broken down old man. Derrick North IS a wacked up assclown, Dash Blade is a would-be legend who acts so gangster it ISN'T funny, Black Dagger is a shameful piece of crap who can't regain his former glory, Seth Omega is a fat piece of shit who Chris Incision gives cock to and they'll all fall to the Bonafide Bitch Slappers.

The fans boo hysterically at Jericho, who starts to leave, but as if something just came to him, he walks back to the center of the ring.

Chris Jericho
And I just remembered that the women were having a battle royal for the number one contendership to the Women's Championship! You women are weak, why would people want to see you slap and throw each other out of the ring? You weren't even supposed to have a match anyway but one of them, I believe it was that Alexia Lovelace, gave Seth Omega a blowjob so that he would put them all in a match. You girls won't even stand a chance against the Bonafide Bitch Slappers too, so why bother when we'll just slap you bitches up?

The fans, especially the women, boo and jeer feriously, and "Jericho Sucks!" is chanted.

Leroy Brown
Jay, get my shotgun.

Jay Rodriguez
No.

Chris Jericho
I think I'm getting a little repetitive here but one thing has to be said before I departure.

CGS...IS...JERICHO!!!

The fans continue to toss jeers and boos, and "Break The Walls Down" plays as Jericho exits the ring. The camera fades out as Jericho is walking up the ramp, a smirk on his face and looking back over at the fans.

END RP

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