Love Shaq, baby love Shaq

SHAQ ATTACK ... NBA star O'Neal (right) gets to grips with the Big Show on RAW

Love Shaq, baby love Shaq
By ROB McNICHOL

RAW this week started with NBA star Shaquille O'Neal showing more comfort and charisma in his first sentence than rockers ZZ Top did in the entire two hours last Monday.
It set the tone for a fun show, although a few flaws in logic left us wondering if these 'guest host' slots will actually help the WWE in the long term.

Shaq was interrupted by Chris Jericho, and the two traded unfriendly words. Jericho belittled O'Neal's glowing build-up, while the basketball legend returned the favour by calling Jericho "Christina" and kissing his forehead.

Jericho's new tag team partner, The Big Show, then made his presence felt, standing up to Shaq in the inevitable face off between the giants.

Show turned down a match with O'Neal (as, hilariously, did Jericho, who wasn't even asked) so the guest General Manager booked Show and Jericho v Cryme Tyme, with Shaq himself as special enforcer.

This match went on last as the main event, and was nothing to write home about. It ended with a DQ after Big Show entered the ring as the illegal man and beat the Cryme Tyme duo up. This prompted Shaq to enter the ring. The two big men both teased a chokeslam before Shad and JTG kicked Show, allowing Shaq to push him from the ring in a spot surely designed to feature on Sports News shows across America.

The Cleveland Cavaliers Center also fared better than ZZ Top backstage. A much funnier skit with Santino where they were playing Scrabble produced a classic line from the Italian — "How did you get so many 'Q's? — and several other pieces of interaction were handled very well.

The main news outside of Shaq's involvement was the Beat the Clock Challenge to determine Randy Orton's opponent at Summerslam.

Five men (Mark Henry, MVP, Triple H, Jack Swagger and John Cena) were tasked with beating their opponents that evening, and whoever did so in the quickest time became the No1 contender.

Henry beat Carlito in a better match than anticipated in under seven minutes, setting a target for the rest.

Usually Beat the Clock competitions are formulaic and predictable because the 'name' wrestlers simply squash people, and the quickest one wins. Not this time.

MVP didn't get a win, wrestling to a double count out with the returning Chris Masters, who showed up unannounced, looking smaller but still physically impressive. No rub from the legend of the hoops for the Ballin' WWE Superstar.

Triple H was attacked by Ted DiBiase backstage, injuring his knee. The Game would then wrestle Cody Rhodes, with the story of the match being that Rhodes continually halted Trips' progress by hitting his injured leg.


At the end of the match DiBiase hopped onto the apron as the commentators hyped the fact that if Hunter hit him he'd be DQ-ed. HHH paused, threw Cody into Ted, but it was too late. As he hit a pedigree, the clock had already run out. Triple H would later challenge Rhodes and DiBiase to a handicap match next week.

Jack Swagger was next, and fared even worse, losing in short order to Evan Bourne, who countered Swagger's patented gutwrench powerbomb into a small package for the win.

This just left John Cena. After some superb heel mic work from The Miz, Cena made short work of him, easily beating Mark Henry's time and claiming the spot at Summerslam. So it's Orton v Cena. Again.

Also on the show Mickie James, Gail Kim and Kelly Kelly beat Rosa Mendes, Beth Phoenix and Alicia Fox when Gail tagged herself in and nailed a missile dropkick. Subtle beginnings of a Mickie v Gail feud, it seems.

The Brian Kendrick and Chavo Guerrero continued their ritual humiliation. Kendrick was beaten in seconds by Kofi Kingston, while Chavo lost another match to the diminutive Hornswoggle, this time with a blindfold on.

We have to acknowledge the many flaws of Raw. Why did Shaq not put Jericho and Show's titles on the line? Why were Smackdown team Cryme Tyme suddenly on Raw? Why was Show disqualified, and Triple H threatened with the same fate, for acts which are commonplace and usually left alone?

The Beat the Clock formula was treated far better than usual, but still threw up one major issue. Swagger losing to Bourne was a great moment, because it was a genuine shock Swagger actually lost. However, the match ended in a shorter time than Cena v Miz, so you would think that Evan Bourne would therefore be the winner of the Beat the Clock challenge. Not so.

The rules stated that only the five wrestlers named in the challenge were eligible, which is ludicrous.

Most of all, Cena as No1 contender is depressing, as it is yet another rehash of the same old guys on top.

Somehow, though Raw was still a lot of fun, and in large part thanks to Shaquille O'Neal. Next week's guest host will be Entourage's Jeremy Piven, who has some big shoes to fill.

Literally.

credit: thesun.co.uk

Whats with the B-52s reference (in the title), I hate that song. Anyway, the review wasn't bad. Glad someone else noticed that Masters is smaller. As I've typed before, I don't mind the spoiler version of the Beat the Clock sprint (which he complained about) I do however get iritated that they only use that forumla nowadays. They only had four (from memory) but the majority of them have been spoiler version and not everyone is eligible like the first one I remember them doing in MMVI (2006), where it went on for two weeks and everyone in it could win it. Best system for it but, I don't mind the spoiler system, just wished they used it less. I don't have a problem with Cena vs. Orton, it's not HHH vs. Orton and that alone makes me happy.