NXT Season 3 Premiere

Okay, so I did this review for my blog, and I feel compelled to post it here. Which albeit ruins the purpose of the blog, but meh. This will probably be the last blog I post on here, but I didn't even plan on reviewing this show in the first place. Anyways, the point of mentioning that I did it on my blog was because I'm too lazy to edit it. So, whenever you read "The Z-Ranter", to just replace it mentally with Y2J X.

Hello everybody, I’m The Z-Ranter and I shouldn’t be blogging right now! In fact, I should be reading “The Good Thief” by Hannah Tinti because it’s my summer reading book, I haven’t touched it, and well … school starts for me tomorrow. You don’t care though because you’re not reading this but if you are, I’m going to tell you why NXT, the third season premiere was awful.

Introduce Yourself … Do It Again!

NXT starts off the way we all knew it was going to start off, introducing everybody. First Striker would introduce a pro, the pro would introduce the rookie, and so on. Once they got in the ring, the rookies would then introduce themselves. That’s not that bad though, but then Kaitlyn introduces herself … as a prom queen class clown. Vickie tells her that sucked and to do it again. So then Kaitlyn kisses Vickie’s ass, but she seemed kind of confused pissed! This seems like a great storyline doesn’t it! No, it doesn’t. It seems like a boring storyline. Aksana starts talking and I can barely understand what the hell she says. She hits on Goldust, and refers to herself in the third person. Who does that, The Z-Ranter does not approve. Moving on, Maxine get’s on the mic and talks about her senses. She is probably the only one who really looks attractive (to me) out of all the divas, and it’s mostly the outfit. Actually, based of the photos of NXT, it’s completely the outfit. This is just great, a WWE diva show, with no attractive divas. Including the pros! I know what everyone is going to say, “I’m gay” or “you’re forgetting the Bella Twins and Kelly Kelly”. I’m not, Kelly Kelly’s face, and I’m not a pervert so a persons face is a huge part of it, and the Bella Twins are just mediocre. I agree one hundred percent with Will Ferrell. AJ talks about implants or something, the commentators bash her, Jamie repeats the break out of the mic thing (That she does over and over again), and Naomi says, “My actions will do the talking for me!” Overall, a rather boring promo. Vickie is not entertaining ever, I hate her. Basically all the divas mic skills are mediocre, and none of the characters seem all that good.

Shake That Groove Thing, Shake That Groove Thing Cole!

The first competition is a dance off! Which if they divas were hot, would be great. Unfortunately, they’re not and even worse, they each get partners. First, is Michael Cole who for some reason, is already wearing leg warmers and ballerina shoes. Cole, you lose all credibility as a commentator when you wear leg warmers and ballerina shoes to … well, anything! Anyways, Naomi is pretty decent at decent, her ending move was really cool actually, and you just knew she was going to win based off that. Anyways, then Cole dances with Jamie, and I won’t tell you about the dance, but the fans literally started booing and booed through most of the dance. Cole was kicked off and Tony Chimel was giving the dance partner position. Then both AJ and Maxine, separately, go pole dancer/stripper on his ass. They taking his hit, dancing sexily around his body, shaking booties at him, playing with his tie. Then Chimel gets the boot and Matt Striker starts saying how the final partner has to be handsome. I’m like, “that arrogant man” … and then he says it’s Josh Matthews. He called Matthews handsome, that’s funny to me. Anyways, Josh proceeds to screw Aksana’s chances of winning by waltzing (that kind of dance at least) with her. Oh, every-time some music is playing, Aksana is dancing. During the second contest, at the beginning, she’s dancing. Anyways, then Kaitlyn screws up herself, by leading Matthews in a dance that basically starts off with the robot. Come voting time, only Naomi and AJ really get applause. Now, I know Maxine is heel, but her dance was just as dirty and she gets booed. Of course, Jamie get’s booed the most. Anyways, Naomi rightfully wins but Matt Striker pisses me off here. He does the little fake out where he looks like AJ is going to be the winner but we all get to hear the results! The results are based off the sound the crowd makes, anyone could tell you Naomi got the loudest reaction! In this scenario a fake out doesn’t work! It just doesn’t Striker, it doesn’t!

Holy Crap, a wrestling match!

Now, I’m aware that promos are necessary but their should be wrestling. They have two competitions tonight, which is just bad booking because you should want to focus on the wrestling aspect of the show more than the reality portion. Not to mention, this is the only match that is long, the main event is short as hell! Also, this is the first match in season three, and they spoil the winner! How? Well, Maxine and Fox are given the job entrance, music playing but they’re already in the ring.

On to the match, it’s Kelly Kelly and Naomi versus Alicia Fox and Maxine. Holy crap is Naomi talented! Like the best on NXT, counting most of the pros. I’m not sure I’d say she is better than Goldust. Anyways, her wrestling was solid. For that fact, Kelly Kelly was a bit better than I remember. The hurricanrana she did looked a bit sloppy but that could of been Fox because she botches a lot. Fox is absolutely dreadful in the ring. Anyways, Naomi hits this cool move that starts as the Stratusfaction but transitions into a sunset flip. She hits some other good moves in the match, before Maxine starts dominating her. Maxine is decent, she’s the kind of wrestler that doesn’t grab your attention. Anyway, Naomi wins by roll-up although it takes awhile for everyone to realize it due to Fox and Kelly. It actually makes sense if you watch it, but I don’t care to explain, sorry.

Let’s Play Capture The Flag!

The NXT rookies then partake in capture the flag, the second competition … which is more boring than the first … almost. It’s a series of races. They line up, the run to the flag pole, and they grab a flag. Their is always one less flag than divas. Whoever doesn’t get the flag, is eliminated, and repeat until all divas are eliminated. Naomi wins, and damn are they pushing her strong! She’s won everything! Striker asks her how it feels and she tells him, “I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it. I’m about to lose control and I think I like it!”. Okay, she only actually says that she is so excited, but this jumped to my mind and it actually works! I don’t remember what she actually says, it wasn’t very entertaining. I mean they brought up that she was singer, it would’ve worked!

The Main Event!

We end the night off with an awful mixed tag match. Primo starts off against Goldust, nothing entertaining happens and AJ and Aksana get tagged in. Aksana and AJ are both decent at best. AJ might be good, but she messed up tonight. Her finisher is Rey Mysterio’s bulldog, the one where he does that leg hand thing first. I’m explaining it bad, but I think you know what I mean. She messes up the first time she did it. Now, you can blame Aksana, but she was in place and this move has got to require most effort on AJ, so I don’t think it’s her fault. Well, maybe it was part of the match? I doubt it, because AJ hit it within a minute after it, and that normally indicates a botch. The match was really short too, and AJ got like no other moves on.

Vickie Ruins Everything!

Vickie Guerrero comes out with Kaitlyn and demands she re-does her introduction. Of course, my response is putting the finger to the scream and shouting “Fuck You!”. You know, booking this Vickie thing could be good, this isn’t the way to book it. This is just making is uninteresting, boring, repetitive, annoying, and a big turn off. This season needs to deliver good ratings, in order to get a deal, they’re booking this in a way that will destroy it’s viewership! Anyways, Primo yells at her, she tells him to shut up because he is a failure and then orders Kaitlyn to attack AJ. It fails, and AJ sends Kaitlyn into Vickie spearing her. Now, here is where the title comes from, this is suppose to be one of those moments where you’re entertained. As a heel, people are suppose to enjoy you’re suffering, but Vickie finds a way to make her getting hurt, unenjoyable. You see, the second she is hit, she starts screaming her ass off with a very high pitched irritating noise. She keeps doing it, over and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again. Shut The FUCK up Vickie! You’d figure once she gets up and walks out of the ring, she’d stop, but she doesn’t. She goes on longer. Thankfully it does end before the show does (probably a minute or two later), but it’s such a bullshit thing to put. I didn’t hear many fans cheering once the bitch started screaming. When things like this happens, it should be something to cheer for awhile, not get driven even closer to never watching this shit again.

In closing, NXT season three is off to an horrendous start, hopefully NXT week (bad pun intended) is better and overall, an enjoyable show. I’m The Z-Ranter!

OK, last nights show was not very good, but the actual wrestling was better then I thought it would be. I would love to come here and slam the shit out of the dumb ass dance off segment, but, against my better jugdment, I thought it was funny. I know it was dumb, but I laughing my ass off when Cole came to the ring, with leg warmers on. I know that dancing has nothing to do with wrestling, but I can't help it, it was still funny. If I had to chose who was the best dancer, I would pick AJ Lee. Her dancing looked like it could lead to some stripping, it didn't, but it totally could.

I didn't care for the challenge segments on the previos 2 NXT's and I still don't. I would much rather see a few matches and no dancing, obstacle course, selling programs, keg carry, or whatever other dumb things they did. I want to see 2 things from the next NXT winner, promo's and wrestling, that is all.

I have very little to base this on, but I will be hoping for AJ to win, because I think she is the hottest of the 6 woman.

I was disappointed with AJ, in FCW she was a decent wrestler. Naomi was better than I expected.

Hope the handspring reverse wheelbarrow bulldog isn't kept as a finisher, I much preferred her using the Shining Wizard and Shiranui (Sliced Bread #3, just landing in a reverse DDT rather than dropping to the knees and slamming the head) as finishing moves.

I couldn't help but think during the entire dance off how terrible it would be to watch Isis the Amazon (that's what I'm calling her as I can't remember her WWE name) doing it... she would have crushed the men.